Beyond Biology-A Journey of Adoption and Motherhood
Adoption means you grow inside your mommy’s heart instead of her tummy.–Anonymous
I’ve always loved this quote because it shows that there is so much more to motherhood than biology. Everyone’s parenting journey is different and filled with its own challenges and joys. During our Mom Mondays we try to highlight different parenting journeys so our Kolcraft fans can experience the depth and beauty of motherhood.
Today we were able to connect with a very special mom whose parenting journey took all sorts of twists and turns as an adoptive mom. Grab a cup of coffee or tea; you are in for a treat.
Tell us a little about your “mommy journey.” What were your hopes and dreams when you first started trying to conceive?
When we first started trying to conceive we never dreamed we would have had a problem trying to get pregnant. As weeks turned into months and no baby, we started to look into fertility options. I remember it seemed as if everyone around me was pregnant. I longed to actually “be” pregnant, carry my child inside me, and feel that closeness. Morning sickness, swollen ankles and stretch marks would have been a welcome gift. After testing, both my husband and I we found out we both had fertility problems. We were devastated. I knew I wanted to be a Mom and he wanted to be a Dad. Our dreams of having a family after we got married came crashing down.
When did you decide to look into adoption and how did you know it was the right thing for you?
While going through fertility treatment, each test coming back with disheartening news, we started talking about the possibility of adoption. We knew we wanted to be parents. Would we be able to accept and love a child not biologically ours? Would our family accept an adopted child? Where do we start? What country should we adopt from? Boy? Girl? We prayed each night and in our hearts we just knew it was right- we should adopt! A sense of peace settled in both of us.
How did people react to your decision to adopt?
I think our family was excited, but nervous like us. They didn’t want us to get hurt. People really didn’t talk about it. I think sometimes others are uncomfortable with the pain of watching a couple struggle with fertility and then the stress and the questions that accompany adoption. We decided to take a class about how to go about starting an adoption process. Once we got “the call” for each of my kids my whole family was so excited! We had a shower/ welcome home party. My son was 15 months old and my daughter was 2 when we adopted them. Our families are crazy about my kids.
Did you have any fears to adopting?
We had a lot of fears! Would the child love us? What if the birth mother or father took the child away? What if he or she wants to meet their biological parent? Would I know what my baby needed?
What was the biggest joy?
Meeting them for the first time for sure!!! I remember the moment I met my son. I swear something went right through my heart and I KNEW he was MY son. It was instantaneous. When I met my daughter the exact thing happened- the overwhelming love for them just shot right though me.
What was the most difficult challenge?
Definitely the waiting!! Waiting for the paperwork, and the court dates. Also the stress of the homestudy.
What has been your biggest surprise on your adoption journey?
I never expected that someday I would be grateful that I was infertile and “had” to adopt and that I could love someone as much as this.
Any advice for families dealing looking towards adoption?
Not only do you adopt your child- they adopt you. Just love them, love them, love them. You’re their Mom and Dad. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are “less” of a Mom and Dad because you didn’t give birth to them.
Now for a quick glance into Patti’s life .
What is your favorite part to being a mom? I love snuggling my kids and being able to just be silly with them. I love knowing a part of my heart lives in each of my kids. Its funny how people people are so surprised that they are adopted because they say they are just like my husband and I.
What is your one guilty pleasure? Cotton candy
If you had a free day to yourself, how would you spend it? Oooo I like a good book, or playing my piano or cello.
If someone was going to write a book on your life, what would they title it? Grateful for Unanswered Prayers